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Well, thank you for worrying about me
I went kayaking last night about 7. Sun doesn’t set until 8. It’s the only time when it’s not oppressively hot in the summer. I’ve got loading and unloading down to a science now. And it was perfect conditions. I put in the boat at Kinsaul Park. This is a place where lots of people like to park and watch the sunset since it’s a wide-open sky over the water towards the west. I head out to my favorite spot and just sit there, singing and listening to the soft crash of the waves. It’s the only place I truly feel completely alone. Just before sunset, I hear a familiar…
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Love is still the answer for the pain in the world today.
Physics is something I consider incredibly difficult to understand or even care about really. But it’s become a daily part of my life for the past several years. You see, my husband has a Bachelors in Physics and starts his Masters program in a couple months. At first, he wanted to be a medical doctor. It made sense because he was working as a medic at the time. When he told me he wanted to be a doctor I remember thinking, “Well. That means I’m going to have to go back to school to at least complete my Associates.” And I did. Then he decided to switch his major to…
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You know I don’t like being rained on!
“I found a massive dead rat in the shed,” my husband said by way of greeting. Jesse stood in the doorway leading to our backyard, his black hair wet with humidity and sweat. “That’s disgusting.” I crinkled my nose. “Come look at it.” He gestured behind him. “Absolutely not!” “Please!” “No!” I stood up from my work at the table and walked to the kitchen. “Remember when you worked at the Mill and you sent me a text of that mouse caught in the trap! I’m scarred for life!” “Yeah.” Jesse laughed. “That was before trigger warnings. Well, come help me anyway. It’s about to rain.” “No it isn’t.” Jesse…
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This is just temporary, so don’t judge me.
“She’s chatty,” said Jesse. He was referring to our waitress who seemed to be holding a conversation with everyone in the room between sweet tea refills. I looked up from my coffee and turned my attention to her as she served the table next to us. “ … I have four kids,” I heard her say. “All we could do was board up the windows.” The waitress turned to me and smiled brightly before chatting to me about my kids. I hadn’t seen her at the establishment before, but it seems like everyone has new hires these days. “I’ll be right out with your food.” She ended the small talk…
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Make sure what you’re building is worthwhile
Partnering with someone for life is hard. Here’s the thing, it takes all parties to make it work. I consider myself lucky to have a partner who puts in the work. We’re both aware that this relationship could fail at any point. It would just take one of us to not be willing to put in the work anymore. We haven’t been together for 10 years because we’re great, fantastic people. We’re together (and happy about it) because both of us have taken criticism, made adjustments, worked hard every day on our partnership, and other things. And at any point, I’m telling you, one of us (or both) could decide…
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It’s my duty as a parent to shape my child’s worldview. Sometimes this requires uncomfortable moments to be embraced.
I am reminded of an awkward moment in February 2019. I took my children to a theater and was standing in line for popcorn with them. February is Black History month, of course, but I feel compelled to share this context because it is essential to understanding this next part. My children had been learning about Dr. King and his fight against segregation. A black family of about 12 people walked in and stood behind us in line. My son, who was 6 at the time, looked at this family, smiled and said (loud enough for everyyyyybody to hear)… “I’m so glad there’s no more racism and black people can…
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You never know just how quickly everything can change for you.
May 2018, my husband graduated with a degree in physics. We went to Disney World to celebrate. June 2018, we moved back to Panama City so I could finish my own degree in peace. October 2018, my life came crashing down around me in the form of a thousand-year storm. October 2018, I fled my wrecked home with all I could fit in my car. October 2018, I thought the worst thing that would ever happen to me had happened. November 2018, my husband was lost to his mind. I lived with a stranger for 18 months while he tried to hang on for dear life. January 2019, I thought…
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“What if I wanted to be a theoretical physicist?”
I’m reminded today of a story that is canon for the Jesse and Sandi saga. Haha. One day when we were dating in high school, I was waiting on Jesse to come out of his digital design elective. When he walked out of the classroom, he looked deep in thought so I asked him what was the matter. He sighed. “What if I wanted to be a theoretical physicist?” I thought this was a strange question. At the time, both Jesse and I wanted to be traveling ministers. You know, go to churches, preach, do the music, etc. “I’ve never heard you express interest,” I said. “You hate trigonometry and you’ve never…
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It’s nice to know how you work best. Because then you can give the world your best.
My therapist legitimately gave me this recommendation: “Maybe you should take your car, park it somewhere nice and use the hotspot on your phone to do your business.” I think she knows this lack of quiet alone time is getting to meeeeeeeee. We had a long conversation at my appointment this week about how I’ve worked really hard to create a life where I’m working out of where my energy flows. The truth is, I need 6-7 hours of alone time a day to feel like myself. I’m an internal processor. People think introverts don’t like being around people, but that’s really not always the case. I just need a…
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I had rarely ever seen my son look so defeated.
I sat beside my son as he cried large drops of tears. Leaning my head against the wall, I shifted one leg up and rolled my head sideways to look at him. He stared off toward the skating rink, where most of the Kindergarteners on our field trip were crawling on their hands and knees “skating.” “I want to go home,” Judah said. “No,” I answered. “Please, can I take my skates off?” Each word was punctuated with a sob. “No,” I sighed. “But you can try rollerblades if you’d like, instead of quads.” “I can’t skate,” Judah cried. “Son, you have no idea if you can skate or not.”…
