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How to Talk With a Depressed Person
Here are some helpful tricks I have found to be useful when speaking to a depressed person: Person: Everything we do is really pointless because we’re all going to die anyway. You: That may be true. I’m hungry. What do you want for breakfast? Toast? Eggs? *Redirection is your new best friend. Let them talk about the existential thoughts roiling inside them. You talk about food and how much you adore eggs and bacon. Let them know you heard what they said, validate them and redirect. They have enough existentialism for both of you. Promise. – Person: I have no motivation to do anything. You: Ugh. That’s awful. So I…
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What is The True Face of Poverty?
Here is the plight of people who are born into poverty. They are raised in the poorest section of their community. The poorest section of their community is subjected to more violence and crime. The schools in the poorest section of the community get the least funding of all the schools. The schools in the poorest section of the community have the highest turnover rate for teachers. Many kids in poverty are raised in foster homes or by a relative who is not their parent. There are good foster homes and bad ones, of course. Just like regular homes. It is not uncommon for a child in poverty to be…
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Chapter 1: The Boy in the Glass Bottle
He was a beautiful boy. Black hair and black eyes set in skin like sandstone. “Boy,” she said. “What are you doing in that bottle?” He stood tall and straight, his head just grazing the top of his glass prison. The bottle lay over on its side, a cork stuck in the neck. “Girl,” he smiled at her. His voice was muted, like hearing through water. “What are you doing out there?” She thought it a strange question from someone who was trapped. “Why are you in there?” she amended. She pressed the palm of her right hand to the glass, her breath leaving a mark like frost that soon…
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Childhood and Our Worst Fears
Yesterday, Judah asked to watch a “smart movie” about hurricanes. A documentary is what he meant. So I found one and set him up on my phone. A while later he runs into my room crying. “MOMMY! WATER GOT IN HOUSES AND TREES BLEW OVER!” “I’m sorry buddy,” I said reaching for the phone. “You don’t have to watch it anymore.” Judah jerked his hand back. “No! I want to!” “But it makes you sad.” “Yes. But it’s okay to be sad, right? You always say it’s okay to be sad. I want to keep watching so I can find out how to help save people. But can I watch…
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Gay Pride and the Compromised Christian
I’ve never not been a part of the Christian church. It’s hard to pinpoint a memory in my life that isn’t somehow tied to God and Christian friends. “I was there every time the doors were opened,” seems to be the saying of a lifelong church kid. For those who didn’t grow up in this kind of environment, I think it’s difficult to imagine what it’s like. You’re in this sort of safe bubble, everyone is expected to behave a certain way, believe the same things … and if you don’t believe the exact same ideologies, not to worry! There’s a church next door to the one you go to…
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I’m Okay
“I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay.” The water in the shower is hot. The steam penetrating. I heave a sob. I rock back and forth. “I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay.” There’s a knock on the door. “You okay?” “I’m okay!” I respond. I hold myself. “I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay.” “You don’t sound okay.” I was too loud. The pitter-patter of water on tile not enough to mask the gasps for air, the sounds of a dejected spirit. “I’m okay.” The door opens. “What’s going on?” “Please don’t pull back that curtain,” I think to myself, but don’t have the energy to say aloud. He’d see the true…
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Grief Is Not Linear
People arrive at the most tumultuous, most painful points of grieving right around the time their friends and loved ones tire of hearing about it and are ready to move on. Think about that. In the initial weeks, first several months following a traumatic event, you’re not seeing grief … you’re seeing shock, survival and processing. That’s why loved ones from the outside looking in are thinking, “It’s been a year, you should be over this, moving forward by now.” But for the person living after the trauma, they haven’t even really started grieving yet. People used to dress in black for two years following the death of a loved…
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Short Story: Oh, But How I Would Learn
I needed a change of scene, needed to get out of my house and think. Everything was going great, my life seeming like it was finally smoothing out. Only a semester and a half left of my schooling, my husband had a new job after graduating, and both my young kids were in school for most of the day. It was the first time in six years I found myself completely alone, with free time to wander. Not to mention, my marriage was fire. We were connecting in a way that marked a new stage of our lives. My husband and I had married young and it was hard, like…
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I Will Always Care What People Think
I have no idea how to not care what anyone thinks. I’ve tried to figure that out my entire life. Hateful remarks used to put me in the bed for days, now it’s just an hour. Maybe I can get to where it only stings for a few minutes. The truth is, I will always care what people think of me. I care because I love people, I love humanity. I love our flaws and interesting stories. I love how complicated we all are. I’m interested in all sorts of viewpoints and methods of thought. I care because I’m not a sociopath. I read something once that transformed my life.…
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You Can Be Anything, Except Safe
I sent my kids off to school today with a bit of fear. The same small reluctance that plagues every parent after a school shooting in the U.S. I got them dressed and packed their lunches. I looked both of them in the eyes and told them I loved them. I gave them hugs and shooed them off like it was any other day. They love school. They love their teachers. It’s the end of the year when water days happen, and field trips and parties and other fun activities. I looked for the extra police presence that’s usually there after a shooting. There they were on every corner, an…
