- blog, history, lifestyle, mental health, personal development, poetry, short story, trauma, Uncategorized
I’m an artist damn it. And not the starving kind.
“Sounds to me like you’re an artist.” My therapist said. I cringed. “Why did you just do that?” “Do what?” She laughed. “You made a face.” “Oh,” I smiled softly. “I hate that word.” “Why is that?” “I guess I just always thought it sounded so flaky.” “You *always* thought that?” There was a long pause. “Hm.” She said. “Let’s explore that a bit.” “Okay.” “It’s just that you’re a singer, songwriter, pianist, writer, marketer…” She ticked off the list with her fingers. I said nothing. “Sure sounds like an artist to me.” The truth was, there was a lot of baggage that came with that word. Public school for…
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Mommy? Will I have a sickness in my brain like daddy?
Yesterday, we talked to the kids about the virus in depth. We did the little activity where we put black pepper in water and then covered their fingers in soap. When they put their fingers in the water it dispersed the black pepper *germs*. We talked about why we couldn’t visit Granny over Spring Break, why we would be staying home more, why schools were closed. Lorelai then went on her merry way, giggling about washing her hands. But Judah went and sat on the couch, contemplative. I’ve known my son for a while now. Ever since Jesse was diagnosed with a mental illness, we’ve especially kept our eye on…
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Because I’m going to write about it. And it will be damn good.
I know a lot of people are scared right now about their financial situation with all this going on. I can say I definitely relate. After going through Hurricane Michael and then Jesse’s health crisis, taking things one day at a time has become a lifestyle. Disaster situations are expensive, but you can get ahead of this as best you can. It’s been hard to breathe sometimes, but I have found strategy that can help. Without minimizing your legitimate fears, I want to offer some advice. 1) Have a plan. What is the order of priority for your bills? Sit down and talk with the people in your household responsible…
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You really will be happy again.
“I’m losing my hair.” “What?” “I’m losing my hair!” I cry. I woke up that morning and it was just gone. A small patch of hair right at the front of my scalp just disappeared. So I did what every person shouldn’t do. I googled it. The word “Alopecia” popped up on the screen. “Please see a dermatologist,” was the recommendation. I did. This morning. “Alopecia.” They repeated. “It’s temporary. Have you been stressed?” I smiled and felt like crying. Living and feel like dying. Have I been stressed? Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They don’t talk about losing your hair after Hurricanes. They talk about insurance and the triple rent. They…
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I’m not sure if this place can help me
“I need you to know I’m not fragile,” my husband said as I pulled out of the parking lot. I knew exactly what he was referring to. My husband had been very sick lately. He had to go to a facility over 500 miles away for a month. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and took a deep breath. Not fragile. Not… fragile… Strange. Life seemed quite fragile lately. When you love someone with a mental illness, it’s hard not to walk on eggshells. I remember when my husband was first diagnosed. All I could do was nod. Finally, a name to the third entity…
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Surround Them with Life and all That Makes it Joyous.
Contrary to popular belief, depression and other mental illnesses are not something you experience alone. Oh no. Trust me when I say, your family, your friends, anyone who ever loved you feels it. They feel it with you, and they struggle with the fact that they cannot pull it out of your head so they can fight it with you. This is why, in a study published in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, about 60% of participant caregivers developed a depressive and/or anxiety disorder within 24 months of caregiving. But I think that might have to do with our Western individualism. We believe that the power is only within…
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There’s something about being Floridian that’s pure magic
I was born in Jackson County, but moved to Bay County, Florida when I was three years old. My earliest memories are of little hands playing in white sugar sand, the uncomfortable feeling of the gritty granules stuck in my bathing suit bottoms. I’m told I was a fish, swimming and diving when I was four years old. I loved riding the waves of the Gulf of Mexico on my little rafts and watching my parents gear up for snorkeling or scuba diving. I never truly understood that I was a Floridian. Not until my parents took us the furthest we had ever been, Rhinelander, Wisconsin for a family reunion.…
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So does “everybody have a mental illness now?”
TW: death and suicide “Everybody has a mental illness now.” “Back in my day we didn’t need all this medication. We got kicked outside to work in the yard if we were sad.” “These kids wouldn’t survive back in my day.” And yeah. You’re probably right. They wouldn’t have survived. They would have died. Because that’s what happens when mental illnesses aren’t treated. People die. Or people live miserable lives, passing their pain on and on and on. I would argue that more people seem to suffer from various illnesses of this nature because now we’re actually medicating them and getting them help. They’re living longer and therefore their stories…
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For the Love of God, Look Out for Parking Signs
This morning, my son thought he’d get away with brushing his teeth without toothpaste, but his sister told on him right before we walked out the door. So I pull him back into the bathroom and make him brush the full 3-minutes in front of me before ushering him to the car. People in the drop-off line act like they have no sense. “Come on people, throw your kids out of the car and let’s go!” I return home and pick up my phone. There’s a PayPal notification that blinks at me, letting me know I was charged $33 for a free trial product I forgot to cancel. I call…
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I’m an artist damn it. And not the starving kind.
I’m Okay
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Can you “make it” as a creative? Watch this.
If you were that kid who was more concerned with your electives than core classes, or you were more comfortable on a stage than in one-on-one conversations. I made this for you. I want you to learn how to dream again. Maybe you really can “make it” as a creative. If you are a new parent who has ever gawked at the price of childcare and said, “Well, I might as well not work!” I made this for you. I want to show you another, possibly better way. Watch and let me know which part resonated with you the most. Life is too short not to act on your dreams
