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Sort of like a “hello darkness my old friend” kind of scenario.
“So, how are you?” My therapist asks. “I’m alright. I can’t help but see the parallels. I’m getting some tension headaches.” She nods. “The whole country is, on a level, going through what I went through in 2018. And I’m watching it happen like a movie.” “That has to be bringing up some memories.” “It does. It really does.” “You’ve gone through a lot in these past few years. It has to be difficult seeing something like it, on that big scale, happening again.” “I feel well acquainted with grief at this point. You can see it on everyone’s face, you can read it in their Facebook posts, you can…
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You are the most good we can hope to be in the world.
It’s another day of caring when you can’t seem to muster up an ounce more of care. You’re tired and weary, but there isn’t anyone you can call to take over. So you get up with your alarm and begin your shift that you’re not sure will ever end. You’re a caregiver. But maybe not only a caregiver, which is a fulltime job in itself. You probably have a job on top of all the caring you do so you can pay your way through the caregiving, as nearly 60% of caregivers work outside the home. Caregiving is often unpaid and goes unnoticed. But it is there. It is there…
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Maybe one more drink
"Maybe just one more drink," I said. "One more should do it." I was having pain in my chest, a tightening that made me hunch over like I was carrying a heavy burden on my back. My mind wouldn't stop racing long enough for me to read a book or watch a movie. So I sat there on the edge of my bed with a glass of wine in my hand. The kids were long in bed, my husband softly breathing in the space of bed next to me and still I couldn't sleep.
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People don’t stop telling you how to be or who to be.
Home is an important place. It’s where we go to find shelter from the world. While physical homes are what most people think of, I’ve spent many years cultivating a “mental home.” There was a time when I felt like I didn’t have a voice. I was always being told what to do and didn’t have a say in who I was or how I could move through the world. But there’s a place you can go inside your mind that is entirely your own, and no one can take that place from you. I visited this place often, anytime the world didn’t seem worth living in. I built up…
- blog, history, lifestyle, mental health, parenting, personal development, short story, trauma, Uncategorized
It’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow….
“You want to go to a tree farm in the middle of Alabama?” “Yes,” I replied to my husband. “I need to get out of here and I need to be around trees. Lots of trees.” “And the trees needed to be in … Alabama?” “The trees needed to be within a three hour radius.” “I see,” he sighed, resigned. We pulled up to the colonial home we would be staying in for three days. A large wrap around porch greeted us with porch swings and rocking chairs, the kind of porch you can watch a thunderstorm on and not get wet. The home was surrounded by two ponds and…