People arrive at the most tumultuous, most painful points of grieving right around the time their friends and loved ones tire of hearing about it and are ready to move on.
Think about that.
In the initial weeks, first several months following a traumatic event, you’re not seeing grief … you’re seeing shock, survival and processing.
That’s why loved ones from the outside looking in are thinking, “It’s been a year, you should be over this, moving forward by now.”
But for the person living after the trauma, they haven’t even really started grieving yet.
People used to dress in black for two years following the death of a loved one. Think about that, two years. When they stopped wearing black, it was a sign to everyone else around them that they were finally moving forward.
We have no such outward signs of grieving today in the United States. People don’t wear black for two years to let everyone know they’re still heartbroken and trying their best to keep breathing.
In fact, we’re expected to return to life as normal as soon as possible.
There is no rushing the grieving process, there is no quick fix.
So take care of yourself when those feelings come up. Honor yourself when you feel the sudden surge of devastation months later.
There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with how society handles grieving. ❤️